The Secret
Saturday, August 30, 2008 6:54 pm
I’ve written before about how much I detest The Secret and the fact that people are making a ton of money off of something that has been around for ages. The Law of Attraction is nothing new, and while I do think that if reading a sensationalized book about it prompts someone to change their life for the better it’s ultimately a good thing, it irks me that this has become such a huge money-making scheme.
But this isn’t about the money aspect of the Law of Attraction. It’s more about how that law appears to be failing me at the moment.
Personally, I’ve always believed that if you want something, the first step to getting it is to act like you already have it. Want to be happy? Pretend to be. Eventually, your reality will shift to agree with how you’re acting. This has worked for me many times, and I’ve always thought that it just takes a bit of patience and blind faith to try something new and sometimes slightly uncomfortable, and believe that the outcome will be worth it.
There’s just one aspect of my life right now where this does not seem to be working. No matter how much I reassure myself that it’s just going to take a bit of time to get there, or how many times I regroup and try again, I’m just not getting there. And I’m wondering at what point I need to concede that it’s probably just not going to happen, and throw in the towel, knowing I tried and that it just was not something that was meant to be. I don’t necessarily believe in fate or destiny, but I do believe that some things work out because at a certain point in your life they’re just supposed to, and some things don’t. Sometimes the end just doesn’t justify the means.
In this case, I can’t quite figure out if the problem is the situation in general and the fact that it just ISN’T going to work out, or if it’s just a flaw that I have that’s causing me to hit a wall again and again. Just when I think I have it all figured out, the logical solutions I think I’ve arranged nicely into rows topple down and I find myself back where I started. I’ve found myself in this position several times - going from thinking, okay, I’ve got it figured out and it’s all okay, to suddenly thinking, shit, I don’t have it figured out at all.
Usually at this point - before this point - I’d give up and move on. I don’t normally have a problem admitting defeat and knowing when I’ve done my best to make something work and it’s not going to despite that. But this time, I really WANT it to work out. There is no other reason to still be hanging on, other than the fact that I really just want a happy ending. I mean, when things seem to be looking up, I really enjoy myself; it’s just that when I find myself wondering if it’s EVER going to sort itself out, I realize that it’s just a potentially misplaced hope that’s keeping me there.
Oh, so cryptic, eh? If it was something for which I could really put my feelings into words, I would just get right into it, but every time I try I feel like my words are inadequate and there’s no chance I could possibly be articulate and clear. That’s another problem… I feel like if I just hold out a little longer the words will just come, and everything will suddenly make sense.
It’s just… how long do I wait for that, when I’m not sure it will ever actually happen?
Tags: the secret
Posted in It's All About Me | Comments (0)
Edited to add…
Friday, August 29, 2008 4:06 pm
I’m not actually editing anything, but just go with it.
I thought of three more things I really like about T - I know that makes it sound like I really had to rack my brain to think of things I like about the guy, but it’s not like that.
Okay, so have you ever met a guy who didn’t freak out when a woman cried? No? Meet T. Seriously, I think I’ve cried in front of him like 25 times (may be a slight exaggeration), and he just takes it in stride. He’s probably thinking it’s just par for the course with this crazy girl, but whatever the case is, it’s appreciated.
He introduced me to the concept of the do-it-yourself car wash. I had no idea they even existed, or how much fun they are. The first time he took me to one, not long after we started seeing each other, I thought he was NUTS - and then I saw that we would get to use fun brushes and hoses and stuff (those are the official, technical terms, by the way). The idea of going to a regular car wash is like, totally foreign to T, and I knew he was testing me to see how I’d react to the DIY one. I’ll admit I was a little hesitant at first, but by the time we got to the actual washing of the car (you start by vacuuming out the inside), I was rolling up the legs of my jeans and ditching my shoes. My favourite part is the awesome power washer, which is kind of entertaining because it’s stronger than I am and inevitably I need T’s help. I’m weak, shut up.
At his work, there is this awesome camera system, and sometimes when I go visit him there, he lets me play with the cameras. I have NO clue what I’m doing with them, and sometimes they spin and just watching the monitor makes me dizzy, but I love messing around with them. I have yet to actually catch anyone breaking the law, but I am convinced that everyone I watch is about to steal. The cameras are so good you can practically read what people are text messaging on their phones. That may also be a slight exaggeration, but you can get really close. Not long ago, I was “window” shopping for bathroom soap dispensers and toothbrush holders - checking out the merchandise and pricing them. It’s even better than online shopping, because when you see something you like, you don’t need to wait 4-6 weeks for it to arrive in the mail, you could just go straight downstairs and buy it. T pretty much has the coolest job ever, and it’s pure entertainment for me to hear his work stories. My job is awesome, but I don’t get to arrest people like he does.
Yeah, so that’s about it - I just thought I’d share these three other things. Carry on…
P.S. Aren’t we cute? This is totally just an excuse to post this photo of us, which we took in Niagara Falls earlier in the month.
Tags: T
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Birthday
Wednesday, August 27, 2008 4:23 pm
Today is T’s birthday. The big two-five. He’s so old. When we first started going out he said something about how he can’t stay out until 3am and then go to work the next day, he just can’t do that anymore, and I agreed that yes, 24 is SO OLD, how could anyone expect that of him? I mean, maybe when he was 23, but we all know that’s TOTALLY DIFFERENT. So now that he’s hit 25, he probably has to start going to bed at like 9:30 every night.
Oh wait, we already do that.
Anyway, in the interest of making him feel special on his big day, I called him this morning as soon as I woke up. You know how sometimes you make a phone call (or answer one) right when you wake up, and you don’t realize your voice is super croaky because you haven’t spoken at all yet? When T answered the phone, I croaked out, “happy birthday” and he busted up laughing at me. Nice.
About three times a week he asks me to rub his head and tell him he’s special. Sometimes he goes so far as to take my hand and rub it over his head. I usually resist, but today I told him that since it’s his birthday, I might - MIGHT - just rub his head and tell him he’s special.
He asked which… never mind.
But given that it IS his special day, I thought I’d list a few of the things I like about T, since there are a lot of them and I don’t think I always make that clear. Sometimes I’m kind of a bitch to him, I think. In any case, here is a list of things that I like and/or make me smile about that boy.
He is ridiculous funny. He has a random, silly sense of humour that keeps me on my toes a lot, like when he announces that they really haven’t made as many advancements in teleportation as they should have by now. And just today my phone rang and when I answered it, he asked me why monkeys throw their poo. I googled it. Apparently the answer is, “wouldn’t you, if you were kept in a cage all day?” Fair enough.
He is smart. Like, very. (Wow, check out that sentence. Apparently I am not smart.) He’s the only guy I know who can watch an episode of Cops and find it intellectually stimulating, because he’s analyzing the cops’ behaviour and the way they question suspects. Sometimes I TiVo it for him, and when we watch it, he pauses it approximately every 20 seconds to explain something to me. I love it.
He is as obsessed with his BlackBerry as I am with mine. I didn’t think there was anyone as obsessed as me. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I actually think he may be MORE obsessed - sometimes it beeps with a message and he won’t reach for it but I can tell it’s literally KILLING HIM SLOWLY to not grab it and answer the message.
He comes up with funny nicknames for me. In the recent past I have been called cupcake, muffin top, schnookums, the jelly inside the donut (”everyone knows that’s the best part of the donut!”), and my personal favourite, poptart. It just cracks me up when I answer my phone and he says something like, “ummmm, I miss you, poptart.” He could use these nicknames on literally every woman he knows and I wouldn’t care; it still makes me feel special (because I am SUCH A GIRL IT’S DISGUSTING). Shut up. Also, he better not use these nicknames on very woman he knows.
He likes when I quote the line “I’m not” from this Monty Python skit. Last week we were lying in bed one night and he said, “you know that thing where they’re all saying, ‘we’re all individuals, we’re all individuals’?” I said yes, and he said, “what does the other guy say?” I said, “‘I’m not!’” in a British accent. He laughed and said, “yeah, that. I just wanted to hear you say it.”
He puts up with the fact that I really love to sing the “Be Our Guest” song from Beauty & The Beast when we’re in the car. And the fact that I do it with a French accent like Lumiere.
He bought me a Sesame Street DVD because he knows I got hooked on them when I spent my days with The Boy, and want to get Carter hooked on them too. Also, I kind of just enjoy watching them. Come on, who doesn’t love singing a song about the Honker-Ducky-Dinger Jamboree? Honestly.
He’s one of the most caring people I know. He will make time for anyone. He also believes in the value of volunteering and giving back to the community (and seeing as I recruit volunteers for a living, this is kind of big with me).
You know, he’s just kind of a really great guy. And I think I’m pretty lucky to be dating him.
Happy birthday, sweetie!
Tags: birthday, T
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